Hey, Soul Sister
by estrafalaria103
Summary: Blaine transfers school districts and finds himself a freshmen in the midst of the McKinley caste system. Soccer puts him somewhere in the middle, and he finds himself wavering between the Glee Club losers and the popular athletes. AU Season One. Klaine, Raine, Tartie, Kinn friendship.
1. Pilot

12/30/2010

**A/N: Yes, it's another AU Season One, in which Blaine attends McKinley. I just cancelled cable and have been rewatching old seasons of TV shows. Sigh. It's been done a thousand times before, but oh well, here we go again! **

There's a definite caste system at McKinley High School. There are the athletes – the hockey players, the football players, even the soccer and lacrosse players. Above them are the Cheerios, who in their short skirts and tight red uniforms represent the absolute apex of popularity. The A/V kids who keep to themselves and dart out of the way in the hallway are somewhere near the bottom, and the Braniacs rank a little below them. There are the student council kids, and then there are the kids who just get by, floating somewhere, effortlessly, in the middle of the social hierarchy.

Then, at the very bottom, are the Glee kids.

Kurt Hummel, fashion diva extraordinaire, is all too aware of his utter lack of anything resembling social standing when, once again, he finds himself cornered by a group of Neanderthal football players. It's only the third week of school, and he's already suffered seven dumpster tosses, fifteen slushies, and innumerable locker shoves.

Yet another fantastic day in his life.

Tuesday starts out the same as most days. He'd been a little late getting to school, so the football players have pushed him solidly into the bak of the dumpster. He momentarily thinks he might be saved when Mr. Schuester, resident Spanish teacher and overall nice enough teacher walks by. That hope is quickly dashed, however, when all that the teacher says is "Make some new friends, Kurt?"

Puck, beefy, huge, and disgustingly mohawked smiles toothily at the teacher. "He sure is, Mr. Schue."

The teacher mentions something to Finn – tall, handsome, all-around stud Finn Hudson – and wanders off. Puck grins even wider.

"It's hammertime!"

"Wait!" Kurt pleas frantically. "This is Marc Jacbos new collection!"

He thinks he's going to be saved when Finn tells the other players to wait, but all that he does is take Kurt's bookbag, and then nod that it's a-ok to throw him into the dumpster.

Kurt moans, rolls a little so that he lands on a hip instead of the seat of her perfectly tailored pants, and lets out a long-suffering sigh. Yet another year at the cesspool that is William McKinley. He made it through his freshman year by the skin of his teeth, and had desperately hoped that no longer being a freshman would have pulled him off the bottom of the food chain. Unfortunately, it seems that, even if the seniors are back to torturing freshmen, his fellow sophomores haven't lost sight of him.

He stares up at the clouds, watching as they slowly pass across the blue of the sky. He counts to fifteen, figures that's enough time that the jocks have wandered off, and pulls himself out of the dumpster. He sniffs himself once after landing on his feet, frowns and scruches up his nose, and heads to class. He'll make a pitstop to the girls bathroom after homeroom to febreeze his entire outfit. It's not perfect, but it's not like he really has much of an option.

Xxxxxx

Mercedes is absolutely ecstatic when she finds out that pervy old Mr. Ryerson has been fired, and there's going to be a new glee club director. She thinks that maybe, just maybe, she'll finally be able to land some of those solos she deserves, instead of the untalented Hank Sauners, who everyone knows was getting solos just because he was letting Mr. Ryerson run his hands all up and down his body.

She's the first to sign up on the sheet of music, and wonders idly who else from the club will join. She knows Rachel Berry will – she wouldn't be at all surprised, really, if Rachel Berry was the reason that Mr. Ryerson got fired. Rachel's always been good at sticking her nose in places that it doesn't belong.

She hopes that Kurt and Artie will sign up. Kurt's her best gay, and let's face it, Artie's the only voice they have that remotely resembles a guy. That's really it, though. . .Hank's parents transferred him once they found out about the "inappropriate student relations" going on at the school.

Four sophomores does not make a glee club, Mercedes knows that well enough. But there's no choir at the school, no school musical, and no way for her to show off her chops, except for Glee club. So she's going to join, and she's going to be a star, and everyone else can just sing back-up to her fierce vocals. If Glee club ends up being more of a one-woman show, she's perfectly okay with that.

Xxxx

Artie met Tina on the second day of school, and was instantly captivated by her. They rode the same bus – only five people ride his bus, it's just him, and Becky Johnson, and the autistic kid whose been in ninth grade for forever. They're the special kids, the ones who mean that it's a short bus instead of the normal busses everyone else rides. Artie hates it, hates having to be different just because he's stuck in a wheelchair, even though there's nothing else particularly different about him.

Tina Cohen-Chang rides the bus, too, and at first Artie thinks it's because she's "special", too, because she has a stutter, and dresses in all black, and has blue streaks in her hair. Nobody else dares to be that different at McKinley, the epicenter of all that is conformist about Ohio, so he thinks that the administration just forced her onto the bus. She didn't talk to anyone on that first day – just walked to the very back, sat down on the tiny seat, and popped a loud bubble. Artie stared at her the entire way.

Day two there's another boy waiting with her, a boy who has absolutely nothng "special" about him. His hair is carefully parted, and he's wearing a pair of bright red highwater pants and a black polo, so his style is a little. . .off. . .but he has two working legs, his eyes are bright and intelligent, and he happily sits down next to Artie with a broad grin on his face.

"Hi!" he says, open and honest, sticking a hand out across the aisle. Tina just stomps to the back of the bus again. "My name's Blaine Anderson."

"Artie Abrams," Artie says, shaking his hand. He still can't figure out how this kid got put on the short bus. "If you don't mind my asking, what's wrong with you?"

Blaine's forehead furrows, and he cocks it a little, looking a bit like a cocker spaniel. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me?"

"Well," Artie says, waving his arms expansively. "You're on the short bus, bro. Something's got to be wrong with you."

"Oh," Blaine just shrugs. "This is the only bus that comes anywhere near our development. Tina and I aren't really within school boundaries – we're using school of choice." Artie wonders for a moment why anyone would want to go to McKinley. It's underfunded and populated by bullies and angry jocks. Also, there's only one wheelchair ramp, although he thinks that only affects him. There's a pressure on his arm, and Artie looks up again to meet the boys eyes.

"Can you repeat that?"

"Well, you asked what was wrong with me – I just wanted to ask what was wrong with you."

Artie raises on eyebrow and points at his wheelchair.

IT takes another two days for him to actually meet Tina – that's how long it takes for Blaine to wear down her resistence to social interaction, to convince her to talk to the other kids on the bus. BY the end of the week, Blaine doesn't ride the bus anymore – he'd made the soccer team, he explained, and they had weight training and windsprints to do before school – so it's just him and Tina.

He thinks she's beautiful, but is afraid to tell her.

When Mercedes grabs him in the hall and tells him that Mr. Ryerson quit and they're getting a new glee club director, the first person that he tells is Tina. He doesn't think she'll want to join, what with how shy she is, and the way she stutters, but her eyes light up and she promptly wheels him over to the sign-in board.

Xxxxx

Rachel Berry wants a boyfriend. She'll never tell anyone that – it's incredibly important that people value her for her talent, and not for the man candy on her arms – but she still thinks it would be nice, just for a bit, to stride down the hallway with a man, like all the Cheerios.

She'd thought about trying out for the Cheerios, as a freshman. They ruled the school, and since she, Rachel Berry, is clearly meant for great things, she's thought it would be a good way to start her famous and meteoric ascent. On the day of try-outs, however, an insanely pretty blond girl had made fun of her nose, a Hispanic girl had called her thunder thighs, and the skinniest girl she'd ever met had asked her if she had eaten a cat and that's why she wailed like Lord Tubbington—whoever _that_ was.

Rachel Berry did not go home and eat a tub of ice cream, crying about that to her two gay dads. What she did instead was join fifteen different student organizations to beef up her resume and gain a starring roll in the school's Glee club. Rachel Berry is nothing if not determined, and what she is most determined about right now, this instant, is getting into a fantastic off-Broadway show, or at least into a performing arts college that will help her achieve all of her dreams.

So she reports Mr. Ryerson to the principal. And maybe it's _partly_ because he's always giving Hank solos – solos which she most definitely deserves – but it's mostly because that kind of teacher-student relationship is entirely inappropriate and the school principal should be aware of it.

Really.

She has to question that decision, however, two days later when only five people have tried out for the new glee club, and they're performing the most wretched rendition of "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat" that any person would ever hear.

Worst of all, the new Glee Club director, Mr. Schuester, has decided to give Artie the solo. Artie. Who's in a wheelchair. And it's so clear that nobody understand sthe choreography, and as much as Rachel hates to admit it, she thinks the best part of the performance is probably Brad's piano playing.

"We suck," she says. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo to a boy in a wheelchair?"

"I think Mr. Schuester is using the irony to enhance the performance," Artie says.

"There's _nothing_ ironic about show choir," Rachel says, and walks out.

It's unacceptable, the way that absolutely nobody understands the sacrifice needed to achieve true stardom.

When Mr. Schuester follows her out to the bleachers to talk to her, it solidifies only one thing in her mind – she absolutely, undoubtedly, for certain, needs to find a man who can keep up with her vocally. And if Mr. Schuester won't do his job and find that man, well, then Rachel Berry will just have to do it herself.

Xxx

Blaine Anderson is pleasantly surprised by McKinley. After his horrible, _horrible_, middle school experience, he'd assumed that he wouldn't last a day at a high school, even if his dad was considerate enough to let him switch districts. He'd been incredibly nervous his first day, but it turns out that people at McKinley are actually really nice. Tina Cohen-Chang lives just down the street from him, which is nice, and sometimes they work on homework together after school. He'd met Artie on the bus in the morning, and was incredibly impressed by the way that nobody bullied the kid in the wheelchair.

Still, he'd been nervous walking into the school, especially when he saw how everyone was dressed – the guys in mostly just blue jeans and t-shirts, and nothing remotely like what he had on. He'd gotten a few strange looks, but mostly everyone left him alone. He'd tried out for the soccer team, and amazingly made it on jv as a freshman. He's in a couple of advanced classes – taking math with the sophomores, and Spanish II instead of Spanish I, based on the different curriculum in his old district. Nobody seems to care about that, either.

Actually, nobody seems to care about schoolwork at all, which is a little disturbing, when he thinks about it. Everyone seems to just care about social standing, and it's pretty clear that the soccer team hovers somewhere in the middle. Blaine is perfectly cool with that.

The soccer team shares the field with the Cheerios after school. They wander on when the football team is leaving. It shocks Blaine a little, when the second day of practice two of the cheerleaders walk over.

"Hey, shortstuff," the darker girl says. "Let met lay this out for you. You don't say hi to me in the hallway, and you don't pretend to know me. I'm the top bitch in this school, and I don't talk to soccer players, and I _definitely_ don't bother with freshman."

"Um. . .okay," Blaine says, blinking a little, and completely in the dark as to why these girls are talking to him.

"Good," the girl says. "Britt wanted me to introduce the two of you. So I'm going to need to know your name to do that."

Blaine grins at that, because he's always happy to make new friends. A couple of other guys on the team are side-eying him, probably jealous that he's talking to a pair of extremely attractive cheerleaders, and he just shoos them along, motioning that he'll catch up later. "I'm Blaine Anderson," he says, cheerfully extending one hand. The Hispanic girl sneers at it like it has dirt on it.

"What kind of name is _that_?" She asks, before snorting. "Whatev, I don't care. Britt, this is Blanderson. Blanderson, this is Brit." The girl – who never bothered to give _her_ name – immediately turns on her heel and stalks away. Blaine stares at her, jaw a little agape.

"Hi," Brittany says, and Blaine turns to face her. "Do you want to make-out?"

He blinks three times, because this is just _bizarre_. Not bad, necessarily, but bizarre, and his brain isn't necessarily keeping up with everything going on. "With you?" he asks.

"Of course," Brittany says, still as chipper as ever, her blond hair bouncing in the slight Ohio breeze. "See, I've made out with everyone in school. I have a perfect record. And now I have to start with the freshmen, and I thought I'd start with you because you have triangles on your face, and everybody knows that triangles are good luck."

Blaine actually thinks about it for a moment. In middle school he'd been bullied mercilessly, just for being himself. At the eighth grade Sadie Hawkins dance he'd been so badly beaten that he'd finished out the year in the hospital school. Things have been going really well so far at McKinley. He's not in the closet – not exactly – his sexuality just hasn't come up.

It would be really easy to pretend.

Unfortunately, although his brain has made the intelligent decision of staying safe, his mouth apparently chooses not to pay any attention.

"Sorry," he hears himself saying. "But I'm gay."

Brittany sighs. "You don't have to date me," she says hopefully. "Just make out with me. So I can keep my perfect record."

Blaine feels a little uncomfortable, but the girl looks so sad, and it's not like he's hiding in the closet, he's just helping someone out. It's a weird goal, but Blaine is a firm believer that having goals is a good thing, and he doesn't want to shoot someone else down for it. So he shrugs, and she dives in.

It's only his third kiss ever, and he's a little surprised to find that he enjoys it. It turns out that kissing a girl isn't really so different than kissing a boy. Brittany is really pretty – he briefly wonders if maybe he's not completely gay – maybe he's bisexual.

He makes a mental look to google it later.

Xxx

The sad truth is the Glee is the best part of Kurt's day. The sad part is that he doesn't even particularly like Glee. Rachel Berry is absolutely unbearable, Tina never talks, and with only a week of class he's already realized that he will never, ever get a solo with Mr. Schuester in charge. Still, it's the one place where he can be absolutely confident that nobody will trip, shove, or throw a slushie at him, which makes it a virtual sanctuary in the dangerous halls of McKinley high school.

That all goes away, unfortunately, when Finn Hudson shows up one day.

He's tall, and gawky, and awkward, and nobody seems happy to have him there. Well, except for Artie, but that's only because Artie is a relatively friendly guy, and the chair which sets him apart from everyone else at school also somehow seems to keep him safe. While everyone else in Glee has been bullied, Artie has managed to steer clear.

Or maybe that's because he's just a freshman, and nobody knows that he's even in glee.

Regardless, the point is that Finn Hudson has joined, and Kurt is just certain that it's some kind of trick or prank. Mr. Schuester seems completely oblivious, however, and just hands him the sheet music to "You're the One I Want."

Surprisingly, Finn is actually pretty good. Unsurprisingly, Rachel Berry notices this and immediately latches on to him. It's a little embarrassing, but Kurt gets it. Finn is so tall. . .

Until Mercedes abruptly breaks into everything. "Oh no!" She busts out. "I am not down with this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyonce, I ain't no Kelly Rowland."

Now, Mercy is Kurt's best friend, and normally he approves of any and all efforts on her part to displace Rachel Berry. This time, however, he has to step in, and point out, "it's the first time we've been kind of good."

Mercedes reconsiders, and they take it again from the top.

Maybe, Kurt thinks, having Glee be the high point of his day isn't so pathetic after all.

Xxx

The soccer team is running laps on Thursday, when Blaine notices one of the football players getting reamed out by their coach. It's the tall guy – the one who plays quarterback, even though Blaine is pretty sure he's only a sophomore. The coach is yelling something about missing practice for singing.

Blaine doesn't catch much of the conversation, because he can't slow down or Coach will bench him for the game Friday, but he gathers that there's a glee club or something. He makes a mental note to look into it – he loves music, and had been disappointed to learn that McKinley doesn't need a pianist for the orchestra. He's still taking lessons outside of school, of course, but he'd thought that it would be cool to play in school, too.

He keeps thinking about the mysterious glee club throughout warmups, but his attention is completely consumed by practice, once they begin actual practice, and by the time 5:30 rolls around and he's cleaning up in the locker room he's completely forgotten about it.

Xxx

"Hey, Dad," Kurt says, walking into the kitchen. His father, burly and dressed in flannel as ever, just grunts as he eats a sandwich. Kurt's stomach does a funny little rolle. He remembers being younger, having tea parties with his father, both of them sitting with his mom around a kid sized table. . .but then he stops. Ever since his mom died he and his dad just. . .haven't. . .talked.

Maybe it's better that way, Kurt thinks sadly. It's not like they have anything in common, anyway.

"What's up, bud?" his dad grunts. Kurt hands over the sheet of paper that he's pulled out of his backpack.

"It's a permission slip," he says. "I, um, I joined glee club, and we're going on a field trip to see another school perform."

Burt grunts again, and reaches out to grab the paper. "Glee club, huh?" he asks. "What is that? Like. . .a pep band?"

"A singing group," Kurt says. Burt signs it, a quick, chicken scrawls that nearly tears through the paper with its ferocity.

"Huh. Your mom liked to sing."

Kurt doesn't know how to respond to that, so he just takes the paper back and walks down to his room.

Xxx

Finn's not sure how he feels when Mr. Schue announces that he's quitting. On the one hand, he'll be glad to be out of Glee – he didn't really enjoy being attacked by the paint balls, and Puck and the other guys have been bothering him nonstop about joining. On the other hand. . .

He really likes singing. It's kind of cool. And Mr. Schue is pretty cool, too.

Yeah, Finn thinks, it's kind of a bummer that he's quitting.

Xxx

Blaine's walking past the auditorium, on his way to the parking lot when he hears it. A guitar being strummed, and a strong male voice singing.

"_I'm leaving on a jet plane_

_ Don't know when I'll be back again_

_ So kiss me and smile for me_

_ Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_ Hold me like you'll never let me go. . ._"

He pauses, wondering who is singing. Whoever it is, he's really, really good. Blaine's fingers tighten around the strap of his book bag. He taps his foot a little, wondering if it would be rude to walk in. He remembers, then, about what he' heard out on the field about a glee club, and thinks that this guy, whoever he is, probably knows about it. But when he peeks in, he just sees his Spanish teacher sitting on the stage with a guitar in hand. He looks incredibly sad, and Blaine's reacting before he can stop himself.

"Mr. Schue?"

His teacher looks up, looking startled. He tenses for a moment before relaxing and smiling. "Oh, hey, Blaine, what are you doing here so late?"

"I had soccer practice. Are you. . .um. . .are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Mr. Schue says. "Did you need something?"

"No, I just. . ." Blaine shrugs, and turns to leave. He can't quite not say anything, though, so he turns one more time before walking out the door. "You're a really good singer, Mr. Schue," he says.

"Thanks," his teacher says, smiling gently. "Have a good one, Blaine."

Xxx

Artie has made it through two weeks without a single incident of bullying. He thought he was safe. He thought the chair somehow protected him.

He was so. . .so. . .wrong.

It happens after school one day. What seems like the entire football team walks up to him. The biggest guy grabs the back of his wheelchair and starts pushing it.

"Where. . .uh, guys, where are we. . .where are we going?"

"To the football field, loser," one of the kids says. The big scary one with the Mohawk. "Well, you're not going to make it the whole way."  
Artie doesn't even have the chance to ask what they mean before he's suddenly shoved into one of the portojohns. At first he's too shocked to do anything. His wheelchair only barely fits, and there's no room to turn around. That's when he realizes that it smells really, really awful. He starts yelling for help, and he hates how high and pitchy his voice gets, but oh God, the smell, and he can't even turn around, and there's not enough air, ad he's totally going to die in here and. . .

Then the door is open, and someone's pulling him out, and he realizes with a sudden, gasping breath that he's been saved by none other than Finn Hudson.

He doesn't really get what happens after that – he's too busy gulping in breaths of fresh, heavenly _air_, but the next thing he knows Finn is wheeling them into the auditorium.

Oh, Artie thinks, that's right. Glee practice.

Mr. Schue may have quit, but if anything that just made Rachel Berry seem even more determined to win. When they're wheeling in, Kurt instantly speaks up.

"This is a _closed_ rehearsal."

Artie still isn't sure what's going on, but he wheels his chair over to sit with the other Glee kids. Finn is saying something about wanting to join, and he just doesn't know how he feels about that. On the one hand. . .Finn pulled him out of the portopotty. But on the other hand. . .

"Artie, you play guitar, right? Think you could get the jazz band?"

Artie can't help but smile, pushing his glasses up. "I do have some pull there," he says.

And the next thing he knows, they've got a plan worked out. There are going to be costumes, and choreography, and a band, and Artie can't help but smile a little. He stills smells like shit, and Kurt keeps wrinkling his nose when he wanders too near, but Artie kind of likes this feeling.

Ever since the accident, he's never had friends who just. . .who just accepted him. People have always treated him like something different, the guy in the chair, the guy on the special bus. . .

For the first time, he's a part of a team, just one guy with a bunch of others, trying to put together some music.

Xxx

The auditorium is empty. He's not singing to a sold out crowd, and he's wearing polyester blend, and he doesn't even have a solo when he's a part of the group that's put together the performance. Rachel and Finn are singing, Rachel with stars in her eyes. Artie's wailing on a guitar, and Kurt kind of _hates_ the costumes that Mercedes has put together but. . .

But he likes this. He likes the lights shining so hot that they burn, and he likes bobbing his head, and singing backup behind microphones. He likes feeling like he belongs.

They're all misfits, and he gets that. Tomorrow they'll get slushied, and thrown in dumpsters. Tomorrow he'll go back to dealing with the bullying, and Tina will start to stutter, and Artie will go back to riding the short bus. But for now, for this moment, the lights are shining, and there's music playing, and he's on a stage. For this moment he's a star.

And then, whe Mr. Schue comes in and says Glee club is going to keep going. . .well, it's about the best feeling that Kurt's had in recent memory.

"It would kill me to see you win Nationals without me."

**A/N: So, as you've noticed, most everything is the same in the Pilot. It takes a while for Blaine to integrate himself, so the bigger changes won't happen until the later episodes. **

**COMING SOON: Kurt and Blaine meet for the first time. Finn and Blaine become friends. Brad gets a POV. And. . .sex riot.**


	2. Showmance

12/30/2010

**A/N: It's so bizarre. . .I forgot how much of Season One was about Mr. Schue. And Emma. Now you only see her once every five episodes. Weeeeeiiirrrdddd. . .anyway. **

Kurt really hates his life.

Like, really, _really_ hates it.

Especially when he sees Rachel walking to school, side by side with Finn. When he sees Mercedes, Tina, and Artie singing on their way in. When he sees silly, clueless, oblivious Mr. Schuester walking in to school and waving at him, surrounded by jocks and clutching his side satchel like his life depended on it.

It might.

"Hey, Puckerman!"

Kurt really, really wants to roll his eyes at the chipper tone of the Spanish teache. Puck just waves.

"Buenos nachos, Mr. Schue!"

"Go Titans!"

And then the teacher is off, unaware (or uncaring) about the fact that one of his students is about to get thrown into one of the stinkest dumpsters in all of Limo, Ohio.

"Wait!" Kurt says, when they start to lift him up. He throws his satchel at one of the louts and sneers. "One day, you'll all work for me."

They laugh a little at that, not caring – and oh, how Kurt cannot _wait_ to get out of this town – and go to grab him again.

"Hey! Hey, what do you think you're doing!"

Everyone swivels to see who's talking, and Kurt lifts one eyebrow. It's three guys – soccer players, he guesses, based entirely on the fact that one of them is carrying a soccer ball. It's the one in the middle who spoke.

"Just giving the fairy some flying lessons," Puck says jovially. "You wanna help?"

"Do I wanna. . .wha. . .no!" the boy sounds appalled and indignant, and darts in front of his friends. Kurt gapes a little, and glances around to see if there's a pretty girl that he's _actually_ trying to save. Kurt's been at McKinley for a year and not _once_ has anyone tried to help him. The most he's gotten is a "sorry" from Mercedes, and an offer to wash the slush out of his hair.

As if the heroics aren't enough, the boy is _cute_. Kurt just has time to take in Disney prince good looks, olive skin and bright, beautiful hazel eyes before he tears his gaze away. He's learned by now not to look – the bullying just gets worse if he looks.

The boy, however, seems intent on grabbing his attention, or at the very least his arm. "Hey," he says, his voice low and soothing, "are you okay?"

Kurt glances over his shoulder, and sees a promise on Puck's face. Go ahead and tattle, Puck's saying, we'll just get you later. Walk away now and it'll be worse. So Kurt sighs and puts on a sardonic grin.

"I'm good," he says. "Just hanging out with the guys."

"Really?" the boy looks dubiously, and for the first time Kurt realizes that the other boy isn't a big knight in shining armor – he's as short as Kurt himself, and although his shoulders easily fill out the letterman's jacket, he's got nothing on Puck's bulk.

"Really," Kurt says. "Go on in. I don't need any help."

The boy still looks uncertain, but his friends are clearly ready to go, so he shrugs. "Well, okay. . ." He starts to walk away, before glancing over his shoulder. "My name's Blaine if you. . .I don't. . ." He sighs and leaves.

"Good call, ladyboy," Puck says, as he grabs Kurt under the arms. Another boy grabs Kurt by the knee, and he lets himself go limp. It hurts less that way. "Up and over!"

xxx

Even Artie feels embarrassing, singing disco. And that's saying something, because he's wearing a sweater vest in a wheelchair. He wants to raise his hands in praise when Mercedes mentions how bad the song is.

"It's not the song," Mr. Schue insists. "You guys just need to get into it!"

"No, it's the song," Kurt says, lifting one finger. "It's gay."

Artie's head whips to the side. Did Kurt just. . .but. . .isn't he. . .Artie's heard of gaydar. He's not entirely certain that he has it, but he is 90% certain that Kurt _is_ gay. Five seconds later Kurt is talking about a facial, so. . .

"We needs recruits," Mr. Schuester reminds them. Artie sighs. Finn pouts.

"I'm dead," the football player says. And that really, _really_ makes Artie want to. . .to. . .well, to do something. Because Finn is _popular_, and although people might laugh at him after a disco performance, they sure as anything won't lock him in a portopotty, or throw a slushie over his head, or toss him into a dumpster.

Still. Artie thinks that he might spend the assembly period working on one of his assignments for A/V club.

Xxx

Brad thinks that Kanye might be the best idea that Will Schuester has ever had. At least he's finally trying to connect to the kids.

Mercedes starts singing, and she sounds amazing on Gold Digger. The music just a repetitive beat, so for one of those rare times, Brad can actually watch the performance. And that's how he sees Will rapping, and inappropriately flirting with his students.

Never mind. Will Schuester is still an idiot.

Xxx

Blaine's in the locker room, changing after soccer practice, when the football team wanders in. Puck is in the lead, as obnoxious as ever. Blaine glances at him out the side of his eyes, a little leery. He doesn't care what the skinny kid by the dumpsters said. . .he's pretty sure that the two are _not_ friends.

"Can you believe we have to go to that gay glee assembly tomorrow?" he's saying. Blaine's shoulders instantly tense.

"I'm skipping," another football players – big and bulky, but an obvious overplucker of eyebrows. "No way I'm gonna let them infect me with their faggishness."

"Come on, guys," Finn protests. "Didn't you see the posters around school? Glee is totally cool!"

Blaine did see the posters around school. Sheets of paper pointing out different celebrities who had been in glee club in high school. He still wants to join. . .he just wishes that they'd included info on how to _join_ on the posters.

"Oh, man, Finn, did _you_ put those up?" Puck sounds incredulous.

"Yeah. And I got a detention, too."

"Are they giving detentions for being gay, now?"

"Um. . .no," Finn says. "I used the Cheerios copy machine."

Blaine smirks a little, and finishes tying his shoes. He's got to give Finn credit. . .Coach Sylvester is terrifying, and he certainly wouldn't ever want to cross her.

Xxx

The truth of the matter is that Rachel doesn't mind disco. She has a solo in it, and the choreography is simple enough that even Finn is able to manage it. They'll get to wear shiny clothes, and any performance is a good opportunity for her to shine.

At the same time, everyone else is so scared, and she just knows that the excess of nerves is going to ruin their performance. So she does what needs to be done. Namely, calls for an emergency glee club session.

Of course, she can't risk having Mr. Schuester come in, so she grabs a small, brown-haired freshman and hands him twenty bucks.

"I need you to go ask Mr. Schuester for help with irregular verbs," she says.

"I don't even take Spanish."

"I don't _care_," she says impatiently, spinng around so that her hair whips dramatically in the air before storming off. Really, some people are just so unhelpful. It's not as though Mr. Schue will even notice that the kid isn't in class.

All of the glee kids have assembled in the gym, as requested. Artie once again voices his objections to disco, and Finn once again moans that he's going to be killed.

"No," Rachel says firmly. "We're going to give everyone want they want."

"Blood?" Kurt asks.

"No. Sex."

Xxx

Blaine sits with David and Wes at the assembly. They're joking about Coach Tanaka's short shorts (an endless source of amusement for everyone not on the actual football team). Blaine shushes them as soon as Mr. Schuester gets up, however, because he really does want to know about how to join Glee Club, and to get some idea of what it's like. Mr. Schue, useless as ever, doesn't actually tell him how to join, but does stand back so the kids can perform.

It's bad. It's really, really bad. They're doing Salt 'N Pepa, which Blaine appreciates, but. . .well. It's obvious that they're trying to be sexy, gyrating and grinding into one another, but there's nothing remotely sexy about it. It's just. . .uncomfortable. After all, there's a kid in a wheelchair, an overweight girl, and Finn Hudson, whose rapping has to be the most painful thing to ever happen on the planet earth. Add onto that their lead female, who is wearing what appear to be knee protectors. And the kid that Blaine had tried to rescue from the dumpsters, looking all of twelve years old, and _what_ does he have tucked into his pants?

It's so, so, bad.

But the actual singing (Finn's rap aside) is pretty good. They're talented, Blaine realizes, and he's still determined to join the club, as long as it means that he doesn't have to perform at an assemblies.

He finally just gives up, and decides to ask Mr. Schuester after class one day. The teacher looks at him, baffled.

"I'm so glad you want to join Glee club!" he says. "I guess I'm just a little surprised. Why don't you do an audition after class?"

Blaine cocks his head. "Shouldn't I audition in front of the club? I mean. . .it seems a little weird just to audition by myself."

"Hmm," Mr. Schue nods. "Yeah. . .that does make sense. That way everyone won't be all weird, like they were when I let the Cheerios on the team. . ."

Blaine shifts awkwardly from one foot to another. Mr. Schue doesn't even seem to notice that he's still standing there.

"So. . .uh. . .when should I come by glee club?"

"Oh, right," Mr. Schuester jerks back up. "2:50 on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Blaine nods. Soccer practice doesn't start until 3:30, so he'll be able to go for at least 40 minutes, which he figures will have to be enough.

Xxxx

"What are you wearing?"

Kurt is appalled. Honestly and truly appalled. He'd tried to explain to Mercedes just the other day that wearing day glo pink, bright blue, black, and white made her look like a deranged zebra. So why on EARTH did she think it was acceptable to wear leopard print with a purple shirt and red legwarmers?

"I can't be seen with you right now."

Mercedes just rolls her eyes and sits down in one of the choir room chairs. Kurt sighs and considers where to sit. He's currently wearing a very in-season blue and black ensemble, and sitting beside the monstrosity that is Mercedes' outfit will only detract from his fabulousness.

Of course, that _does_ limit the options, The cheerleaders are all sitting in the second row together, along with Finn. Rachel is beyond irritating. He finally settles for a stool over by the piano, just minutes before Mr. Schue walks in.

Shockingly, he's not alone, and Kurt sits up a little taller as he recognizes the boy from the dumpster a few days ago. He isn't wearing his letterman's jacket, but instead a checked shirt underneath a one-size too big sweatervest. At leat his pants are nice, snug in the ass and. . .

Kurt whips his head away, his face instantly flushing. He glances at the other members of glee club to see if anyone caught his lapse, and only relaxes when he realizes that they're all still fixated on the new member. Mr. Schue claps his hands on the boys shoulders.

"Hey, guys," their teacher says. "Looks like we've managed to rustle up a new member. I want everyone to welcome Blaine Anderson."

Tina and Artie clap furiously, while everyone else just looks confused, including Blaine. Rachel stands up and opens her mouth, causing Kurt to instantly wince.

"Now," Mr. Schue says, holding up one hand and miraculously forestalling a Rachel diatribe, "I know you guys were a little miffed that you didn't get to see Santana, Brittany, and Quinn audition, so I asked Blaine if he would be comfortable performing in front of everyone."

With that, the teacher sits down, Brad takes his traditional place at the piano. Blaine brushes his hands together briskly, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

"_Hey, he-e-e-ey, he-e-e-e-ey_

_ Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains_

_ I knew I wouldn't forget you_

_ And so I went and let you blow my mind"_

Oh, Gaga. Kurt feels one of his hands lift to flutter uselessly against his chest. The boy is good. Like, really, really good. He smiles as he sings, dancing lightly across the room. At one point he spins on his heel, points at Kurt, and winks.

He has a chance to catch his breath again when Blaine dashes up the steps to serenade the cheerleaders, before jumping over an empty chair and dancing in front of Artie. He's an equal opportunity performer, winking at every member of the New Directions, smile never faltering, steps never fumbling. Kurt's pulse seems to be following along with the quick beat of the music, and he can't keep the broad smile off his face.

When the performance is over – too soon, in Kurt's opinion – there's a moment of silence. Blaine's confidence shatters in front of them, and he begins nervously shifting from foot to foot. Mr. Schue finally begins to clap, but it's Mercedes who really breaks the awkward silence.

"Dayum, white boy," she breathes, clutching at Kurt's hand. On her other side, Rachel has hearts in her eyes, as big and round as they'd been a few weeks ago when Finn had sung for the first time. Behind him, Kurt can hear the cheerleaders whispering.

"If he can screw as well as he sings, he might be worth leaving Puck," Santana whispers. "Gelhead and all."

"He is a good kisser," Brittany says sincerely. "But I think he's a dolphin."

"Dolphins are the only animals that enjoy sex," Quinn mentions. "We were reading about it in biology the other day."

Kurt tunes out the conversation, and focuses back in on glee club. Mr. Schue points Blaine to a seat before wandering over to write on the board. On the board, Mr. Schue writes "Trust" and he can already see where this is going – Mr. Schue loves his "Teachable Moments" and no doubt they're about to get a lecture about going rogue during the assembly.

But when Blaine shoots a smile toward Kurt, and a little shot of electricity runs up his spine, he thinks that, sex riot and all, it was totally worth it.

**A/N: The boys have met! Huzzah! Also, I've decided that if Blaine were there from the beginning, he and Finn could have a true bromance, instead of the awkward friends/not friends/friends that actually happened on the show. **

**COMING SOON: Finn quits Glee in protest and cliché. Kurt busts Mercedes heart. Artie has to try harder at walking, and gosh darn it, Blaine just thinks everyone is so nice!**


End file.
